Speaking of Fireworks: Beverage Edition

After a long day at the Klamath County Fairgrounds, sometimes you just need a drink.  And not just any drink, mind you, a totally awesome drink we are calling the Speaking of Fireworks.

Boring story from the barstool next to you?  Time to order a Speaking of Fireworks.  When the bartender hassles you about your unpaid tab just say, "Speaking of Fireworks, I'd like another round of Speaking of Fireworks, please."

Ingredients:

Hard cider
100% Pomegranate juice
Ice

To make:

Add ice to glass.  Cover bottom of glass with about a 1/2 shot of pomegranate juice, then a respectable amount of cider.  Next, add another 1/2 shot of pomegranate juice, then more cider.  Do not stir.  If you feel so inclined, add hard liquor to the above recipe; we aren't here to judge.

For traditional presentation, the Speaking of Fireworks should be served in a ten-year-old Portland Trailblazers glass from Dairy Queen (available in many fine thrift shops throughout the Multnomah County area).

Speaking of fireworks, who let Timmee and Tammi watch "Snakes on a Plane"?!

Proud Parents of Fireworks

     Speaking of Fireworks is simply amazing.  Last week, my kids, Timee and Tammi were in town visiting.  They are adorable 3 year old twins.  Their mother's mom and my mom share custody of our kids out of state, so we see them about twice per year.  Timee is an energetic boy with a quick wit.  Tammi is brilliant and has already read Tai Pan.  She aslo is a car enthusiast who has rebuilt the engine on my 1977 Firebird T Top Trans Am.

     During their visit we took them to the carnival. Timee loves cotton candy and Tammi is a big fan of Fun House mirrors.  We were all having a great time until another kid started following us around continually telling Timee all the dangers of cotton candy and that there are documented cases of fluroide reported to be in some flavors.  Tammi, being the protective older sister(she is 2 minutes older than Timee), responded to the annoying kid, " Speaking of Fireworks, My Mommy was in a band!"

     The confused boy left us alone after that and we all enjoyed a beautiful day as a family at the Klamath County Fairgrounds.  Thanks again "Fireworks".

Speaking of Fireworks: The Controversy

Recently, at a local watering hole, while we were explaining "speaking of fireworks" to an enraptured audience, something shocking happened.  An acquaintance (we'll call hime Connor; his name is actually Connor) brought up the one and only potential problem:

"What if you are talking about fireworks and you want to change the subject?"

Dun-dun-dun!

I know, meta, right?

Granted, this is usually only a problem between about July 1st and 5th (or 9th or 10th if you live in my neighborhood) but it could happen.

Barely missing a beat, Charlie saved the day:

"I think you just need to say it twice."

Day: officially saved.  Now we know where Tammi gets her smarts (she got my nose, though, thankfully).

Here's an example:

Guy Talking About Fireworks: "Man, I love living near Washington.  Just one trip over the border and you can get all kinds of fireworks that you can't buy here.  And that is really cool."

Julia: "Speaking of fireworks, speaking of fireworks!  How about that Channing Frye?"

Guy No Longer Talking About Fireworks: "Who's Channing Frye?"

Speaking of fireworks works!

Pictured above: Channing Frye and fireworks.

"Fireworks" saved me from eviction!

     So it really works!  Speaking of Fireworks saved me from being evicted.
A yearly inspection of my apartment from my landlord took place yesterday.  Upon her visit, she noticed I had a cat living in the apartment. (There is a no pet policy)...
Landlord: "Why is there a cat in your apartment?"
Me: "Speaking of Fireworks, the drain pipe under the kitchen sink needs to be replaced."

My landlord addressed the broken pipe issue and forgot all about the cat.
Thanks again "Fireworks".  Now my cat and I still have a place to live.
    

The Birth of Speaking of Fireworks

American English lacks an idiom for changing the subject in conversation.  Ever been in the room when someone abruptly shifts the conversation to a different topic or, worse yet, says something like, "Just to change the subject..."?  The room quiets.  Tensions run high. 

No longer!  This blog is intended to introduce the idiom "Speaking of fireworks" into the English vernacular.  Here's how it works:

Julia: "So I was at the supermarket today and first I was walking around the produce aisle and then I was in the checkout line and... oh, man.  I'm even boring myself with this story."

Charlie: "Speaking of fireworks, they're playing Twilight Zone episodes at the Hollywood Theater tonight."

Julia: "I'm in!"

Conversation saved.  Thank you, fireworks!

We will be monitoring the progress of said idiom.  Readers who use it in conversation are encouraged to post comments explaining the situation they used it in and how "speaking of fireworks" worked for them!